Residents of the Virgin Islands are seeking applicants for the honor of serving in the 34th Legislature.
The requirements are as follows:
• Education, experience and skills sought for these positions are highly specialized. Notwithstanding good intentions, you may have to serve your community, you must have proven abilities in complex areas of finance, law, community planning, fiscal infusions, creation of new industry as well as other areas consistent with running this unique community. Applicants must be able to legislate issues of grave importance in unprecedented times. Applicants looking for an easy job, need not apply.
• Applicants must prove to have the ability to manage large sums of money, carefully auditing these funds and holding recipients of any funds to the highest standards. No thieves need apply.
• Applicants must be able to furnish impeccable references. Any applicant with past criminal issues, domestic violence history, child support payment issues, personal credit deficiencies and foreclosures on personal businesses and homes need not apply.
• This job is a full-time position, hours may vary. Any applicants working another full time, part time job or manage their own personal business need not apply.
• Applicants should have full appreciation that their job would entail creative thinking and working well with others. There should be a clear understanding that this position is not about you the applicant, but the all of the community. Any persons seeking to bring in unqualified family or friends for paid positions need not apply.
• Applicant should understand their remuneration and health benefits are what they will be paid. Any expectation of additional benefits on the community purse, kickbacks, illegal credit card use or misuse of working time will be grounds for dismissal and prosecution.
To be clear about this employment opportunity, Virgin Islanders are demanding a clean, hardworking, dedicated, innovative, legislative workforce to represent our needs and interests in a time of great community crisis. If you have these special qualifications, please apply.
— Maria Ferreras is a longtime St. Thomas resident and community volunteer. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.